"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."
For me, Thanksgiving has always felt like the beginning of the end for each year. Kind of like an "oh shit!" moment for anything I had originally planned to get done that year. It's a seemingly unbreakable, habitual cycle.
This year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster - an absolute whirlwind of ups and downs. One year ago today, I was in my last two weeks at DSLD Homes. It was a bittersweet time. I had come to a point where I knew that if I wanted to grow my career, I had to make a change. I was very comfortable, but I wanted more. After some discussions via phone and in-person, as well as some lengthy emailing, I decided to accept a heavily travel based job with a company called Ceres Environmental that would bring me down to Dulac every week to manage the HR functions for a project that was building levee systems. The original plan was for a short, three-month stint of 2-3 overnights each week down in Houma, with Mondays and Fridays being work-from-home days. Once that was complete, I would be based back in the Baton Rouge office on a regular schedule. After my first week, I came home crying. I knew I had made a mistake. The entire project was a mess. I missed my family, and the guilt of being away so much weighed heavily on me. It was not long before I realized that I had been sold a promise that my boss could not and would not keep. Three months? HA! Try at least 18 months. Work from home on Mondays and Fridays? HA! Actually, we need you to go down to the levee to lay 13 people off. Michael tried to be supportive. "You have owned worse situations. Make it your bitch!" he said. The problem was, I did not want to "make it my bitch". I wanted to be home with my boys. I had given up my comfort zone - partly so that he could take a job with DSLD that had the potential to be a better fit for our family. The guilt led to bitterness.
I recognized that none of this was healthy - for me, my boys, my family. But, I also had no idea what to do. I started looking for other opportunities. I reluctantly put my resume out to a couple of places. I felt like such a failure. This was supposed to be an opportunity to grow into a brand new role, and possibly gain the chance to see new places. Sometimes, it is hard to accept the "it's not me, it's you" when you place such high expectations on yourself. There was no reason I should not have been able to walk in and own it. But, I did not even want to. There were a number of frustrating factors, and the combination of negative people and surroundings caused me to throw my hands up and say, "F*CK IT!"
As it turned out, the timing was pretty much perfect.
One day while I was on-site at the levee, I started searching around on LinkedIn. I ran across a posting for an HR Advisor position with a chemical plant back home. I read over it and thought maybe it was over my head (mainly because I had no manufacturing/plant experience). I ended up coming back to it again after a friend texted me and recommended that I look into it and apply. I was pretty surprised to receive a call to come in for an interview. Thankfully, it came at a time when I had taken (a MUCH needed) vacation to just be home. Ultimately, I made it through their assessment testing and then into a follow-up interview - the process was pretty lengthy. This came at the same time I was called for a Benefits Specialist position with a company that was actually in Denham Springs. I received an offer from both companies within 24 hours of each other. So, here I was again. A position VERY close to home with not much room to grow/advance. Or, a little bit of a drive to be with a global leader in the methanol industry (career opportunities abound). I took the career growth path again - praying I did not make the same mistake twice. I took a deep breath, and jumped in.
That was six months ago - the same amount of time I spent in career hell with Ceres. Today, I can safely say I made the right choice. I have found a company that cares about and invests in their employees. I have opportunities to be involved with global projects and participate in a variety of ways that make me feel like I am asset to this company. No, not everything in my life is peaches and cream again - remember that rollercoaster? Yeah, it was so much more than just my job. But, piecing it back together, one shitty area at a time is a good start. ;) I finally work with a true team and have a connection to each of my department co-workers - something I have never had before. I have to say... It's really f*cking nice.
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