And, a late Merry Christmas to you!

This year is quite possibly the smoothest Christmas we have experienced in our 10 years of being together.  Who would have thought I'd say that for Ethan's first Christmas?  It took having a baby.  Go figure!

I do hope everyone had a great Christmas (or whatever other holiday you like to celebrate!).

This month has come and gone way too fast.  I feel like we ran out of time for everything.  We didn't even get to decorate the tree until Christmas Eve, and it was after we put Ethan to bed.  Guess I lost my Mother-of-the-Year award.  I really wanted to make it a big family affair, so we kept putting it off.  Couldn't do it during the week because one of us was always getting home too late, and then it would be time for Ethan's bedtime routine.  Every weekend it was something else; we were all sick, my work Christmas party, Ethan's baptism, etc. etc...  I caved and let us get a fake tree this year.  Guess next year I'll have to cave and start decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving.  :-/  Other than that, everything went ahead well.  As you can see, we were able to get Ethan's first picture with Santa (or, Bum Santa, as we affectionately call him).  Koopa's epic yawn gave us a fantastic Christmas card this year.

So, I have started Crossfit.  The first week left me unable to sit right to piss.  This week has been better.  I had planned to go back tonight, but ended up running over with my work obligations.  Tomorrow will probably not be any better, as we are going out of town to Lake Charles after Michael gets off of work.  I knew December was going to suck to start this stuff.  But, my intro marked the start of my month, which I did not realize before I did it.  Oh well, it's been an interesting jump start back into the fitness world!

Other than the tried and true lose weight goal, I don't have much figured out as far as New Year's resolutions.  Not care about people opinions as much?  Meh.  Who says you have to have a resolution anyway! ;)  Blog more? :D

UGH.

I feel like this post should be on my weight loss blog, but since I haven't been able to lose weight I guess it doesn't matter where it goes!

I'm so frustrated.  Everyone said that breastfeeding would burn so many calories.  I gained 30lbs while I was pregnant.  I lost 10lbs within the first two weeks.  Since then I have been at a hault.  Honestly, I want a quick fix.  Nursing Ethan means that I can't do that - which is good.  I don't need to crash diet.  I just hate being back at that place where I hate seeing pictures of myself and I hate looking in the mirror.  It is so depressing.

I went to my Crossfit intro, and I'm going back tonight.  I am not looking forward to it.  It's not that I'm lazy or don't want to get my sh!t together... It's that I feel like that fat chick that everyone will be staring at.

You are your own worst critic.  For me, that's a definite.

Our first ear infection

Sick babies suck.

Well, actually, sick babies are really sweet (at least mine is).  They snuggle and just want to be held.  It melts my heart.  But, knowing that my little nugget doesn't feel well really sucks for me.  He did really well this weekend for his baptism.  He napped on the ride over, was perfect through the ceremony and only started to get a little fussy at the end of picture taking because it was his lunch time.  Once I fed him, he was all smiles through lunch and then just watched the sky on the way home.  Sunday, he seemed like his normal self for most of the day (minus a runny nose), but started to feel warm that afternoon.  By the time we swung by Michael's parents house, he was fussy.  We gave him some children's Tylenol and kept him in bed with us last night.  This morning he seemed better, but still not 100%.  I made an appointment for him with the pediatrician this afternoon, and upon examination he found a small ear infection in his right ear.  I should have known because he was a little irritable nursing while on his right side a couple of times yesterday.  I'm just glad we caught it early.

So, I guess it's another first for my little guy.  Just wish it had been a happy one!

Where have the past 4 1/2 months gone?

Ethan is getting baptized on Saturday.  Yay!  Michael is so not excited to see his little man in a gown, but it's tradition.  And we all know how this Mommy is about traditions.  I did make a concession to have a second "boyish" outfit for him to wear for the family pictures afterwards.  The same priest that married us is doing a private ceremony for our family at his church.  It's out in BFE, but it's going to be extra special!

Moving on...
There is this thing called the 4 month wakeful.  I call it hell.  I kind of feel like if I hadn't read about it, it would have never happened - like I jinxed myself.  It all started when I made the STUPID mistake of being excited over a night of 10 hours straight of sleep.  The next night we lost count of how many times he woke up.  The next night dwindled to about 4.  Then, last night was only once, but he didn't go down until 10:30pm (two hours past his bedtime).  I can only imagine what kind of fun we get to have tonight.  We're trying to ween him off of the night feeding.  The first time he wakes up, he just gets some belly rubs and his pacifier.  If he wakes up a second time, I feed him.  I'm hoping that we grow out of this nighttime fun soon..

I can't help but to think that part of the problem is that we started rice cereal.  The pediatrician told us that if I want to continue to breastfeed, then I will need to supplement with iron in one way or another.  This means a) one bottle of formula fortified with iron, b) an iron vitamin supplement in a dropper, or c) rice cereal.  I thought we were taking the best route by going with rice cereal since that would give him some practice with a spoon.  Because of the two nights of issues, we skipped the cereal last night.  We'll skip again tonight and try back on Friday night.

One positive: Since Ethan was born, I was always the one to get up with him at night because I am nursing him.  Monday night, Michael got up with him since we are trying to ween the night feeding.  One of the several times he came back to bed, he curled up to me and said, "I have such a new respect for you after tonight!"  :)  I don't mind getting up with my little guy at all, but it was nice to feel appreciated!

Adventures in Nursing

We're talking about boobies, not the occupation. :)

So, as previously stated, I had the heebie-jeebies when it came to the thought of nursing while I was pregnant.  And, as previously mentioned, that all changed once our little guy arrived.  I thought the drama was going to end there.  Oooooh no.  That was just the beginning.

Let me tell you a little something about nursing.  Babies supposedly have a "natural instinct" about it, but their "natural instinct" sucks - as did mine.  I guess I thought that breastfeeding was the "cheap and easy" way to feed your child.  Well, it is cheap, but it sure ain't easy!  First of all, newborns need to eat every 2 hours, at least - including at night.  So, figure that around the clock for the first several weeks.  That means every time baby needs to eat, it's Mommy's job.  There isn't much that Daddy can do to help, besides being super supportive.  I am so grateful that Michael was!  The first two weeks were filled with lots of tears when it came time for Ethan to eat.  I felt like I was starving my child because he couldn't seem to stay with a good latch.  At his 2-week check-up, he hadn't gained all of his birth weight back, and that only made it worse.

The mornings were the worst because of being so engorged.  My titties became 2-ton round boulders.  Seriously.  The 3rd week of life, Michael went back to work and my mom came over every day to help me out.  I will never be able to thank her enough for everything she did.  She was the emotional and physical support I needed.  Because of the whole weight thing with Ethan, our pediatrician instructed me to pump and feed him for every other feeding, then breastfeed the others.  Within five days his weight was just where it needed to be.  It turned out to be a good thing, because it gave me a mini break from the emotional toll.  Once I knew my baby was perfectly fine, I could be more emotionally prepared to get back to breastfeeding.  It is so very true when they say that your baby can sense and feel your stress.  It's like Ethan was completely tuned in to everything I was going through.  When I was upset, he was fussy.  When I was happy, he was content.

By the time Ethan hit the 1-month mark, everything seemed to be flowing smoothly.  I was very fortunate that we had no issues with "nipple confusion".  Even now that I'm back at work, he nurses in the mornings and at night with me, and takes a bottle with my dad just fine.  I was blessed with the most laid back baby - as long as he's fed, he doesn't care where it comes from!  He must get it from his Daddy!

Now, onto the funny stuff.  Being a breastfeeding Mommy means getting creative.  So far, I have had to feed Ethan in a public bathroom twice and the car several times.  I'm not the type of mom who will whip her boob out and breastfeed anywhere at anytime, so those were interesting for me.  The first bathroom stint was because I forgot the nipple for the bottle we brought - then it turned out that I really didn't forget it!  That's the other beautiful thing about breastfeeding - ready-to-go meals, no supplies necessary!  In the car was a little easier because I could park out of the way and use a blanket.  The only "real" problem I have found is the possible squirting.  I have squirted Ethan in the face from being engorged, losing the latch for a split second, and on purpose just because he was being a turd. :)  In fact, one morning he had dried milk all over the side of his face from the drowsy 4am feeding.  All I could do was laugh.

We have been in the "sweet spot" of nursing for a couple of months now.  We're both confident in our skills and everything flows smoothly (no pun intended!).  Now that I'm back at work, I've been pumping to keep my supply going.  Over the past month and a half, I was pumping every single night.  This helped me build up a supply of over 200 ounces in our freezer.  Now, as long as I'm at least replacing what he eats while he's with my dad, I'm happy.  Breastfeeding won't last forever, and I want to be prepared in case I start to "dry up".  In the case that I don't, we haven't quite decided when to stop.  I'm thinking 6 months or at the first tooth! ;)

Breastfeeding is a very personal decision for any mom, but after my experience I am a very strong advocate for it.  I would never look down on anyone for not - hey, I didn't think I would!  But, I would say to give it a shot if you even think you might be up for it.  One thing that I treasure about it is the fact that it is the one thing that I can do for my child that no one else can.

Announcement card

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Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!

That pretty much describes the whole labor and delivery process for me.

I spent the several weeks before Ethan's birthday going through extremely mild prelabor, or Braxton Hicks.  This included no pain and absolutely no preview of true labor WHATSOEVER.  At my last prenatal appointment, we scheduled an induction date of August 1st.  I, however, was hoping for all of the surprise and wonderment of sporadically occurring labor.  How ignorant was I?  Thankfully, there was a higher power that knew better for me.

So, at 2:30am on August 1st, Michael and I checked into Woman's Hospital to begin the adventure of becoming a foursome (we include Koopa as part of our little family).  At 3:30am, I was all cute in my designer hospital gown (because, yes, I was too vain for the frumpy ones they supply) and hooked up to a drip with the oxytocin rolling. 

About 30 minutes later, the nurse came back and told me to lay back down and turn on my side - the baby was not liking the drip.  We took a break from it, and resumed at 4:30am.  The drip did all of nothing.  My contraction still felt completely painless, and, to me, were still irregular.  At that point, I figured we were in for the long haul.  The nurse said Perch would be in around 7 or 8am to break my water.  Since the whole process had been pretty uneventful so far, I figured we could let our parents come back and say hi.  Michael had taken all of our room passes for visitors - the best decision we ever made, thanks to Betsy and Jeff's suggestion/warning.  Michael's parents were happy with whatever updates we wanted to share.  Mine on the other hand...were....very excited.  Trust me, looking back on my aggravations now, I realize they are minor compared to the amazing event that took place.  About the same time, I decided that since I loved my nursing staff, I would go ahead and give them the goodie bag I made for them.  Weeks before, figuring that I would be a difficult patient, I planned candy, gummies and granola for the wonderful ladies who would be saddled with dealing with me.  In the end, I don't think I was half as bad as I was anticipating.  Around 7:30am, Perch showed up to check in on me.  At 7:45am, he broke my water.  Holy hell.  This process alone made me more than grateful that I did not go into labor in Wal-Mart or any other extremely public, or even private, venue.  I'm pretty sure my vagina unloaded enough water to fill a car trunk.  Perch tells me he will be back around noon to see how it's going.  The nurse tells me to try to give her a 20 minute window when requesting an epidural.  Apparently, I was not the only chick having a baby that morning.  How dare those other women.  Being the total wannabe-badass that I am, I decided that I would go AT LEAST an hour from that point before requesting the needle.  I was 4cm dilated now.  7cm is what everyone says is the point of no return.  The staff told me that as long as I could sit still and was not crowning, I could get the epidural.  Nice.  Oh, and by the way... You have to get pumped with at least 2 bags of fluid before the epidural, too.  The nurse told me I might want to take my rings off unless I didn't mind them being cut off later.  Swollen for days much?

So, here come the contractions.  This is what they feel like?  Meh.. Not so bad.  A few more.  Hmm..this is uncomfortable.  I need my music.  Michael gets me set up with my phone and I settle in with my appropriated play list.  We're about 30 minutes in, and I'm very uncomfortable.  Michael is holding my hand through each contraction, and talking me through them.  At 45 minutes, I'm pretty much telling him to shut up because he's trying to make me laugh - and this shit ain't funny.  Right as he's asking me if I want to buzz the nurse, she comes in.  I guess it was obvious.  We call for the epidural.  Before that, she checks me - 6cm.  Turns out she wasn't lying - 20 minutes later the anesthesiologist comes rolling in.  At this point, I am whimpering and unloading crocodile tears in a strangely quiet manner.  Real labor contractions feel like the worst shit cramp you've ever had while someone is slicing your stomach open with a hot butter knife.  Fun!  I didn't get at all vocal until they told me I needed to get out of bed (with all the wires attached) and make one final trip to the bathroom before he could stick me.  I had about 3 contractions in the 4 minutes it took me to go piss and crawl back.  Michael was sent out to the waiting room until they were done with me.  The epidural was NOTHING.  Easiest shot I've ever had. 

zOMG. Thank you baby Jesus for epidurals!

So they lay me back down, and check me again.  8cm.  "Oh, honey, you're about to have a baby - we need to call your doctor to come back!"  Umm...what?!  I thought this was supposed to take all day!  Here comes Michael back from the waiting room.  Uh-oh.  Here comes the urge to push!  They weren't kidding!  All of a sudden, the bright lights are on and my legs go up.  So a few pushes later, and they're telling me to stop.  UH, WTF?!  They're calling my doc again.  They can see the head.  "There's a full head of hair!"  Seriously?  Don't push?!  *Whoosh!*  He comes Perch!  Alrighty, back to work!  "PushPushPushPushPushPushPush!  You're doing great!"  Funny thing was that it happened so fast my epidural hadn't taken full affect; so I could still move my legs and feel all the pressure - pushing was pretty easy! 

Just a few more pushes and we heard those unforgettable, life changing words: "It's a boy!"

And, then the world stood still.  There he was.  I was in complete shock.  Everything happened so fast.  After more than nine months of growing this precious little being inside of me, here he was.  They whisked him off to be cleaned, but within moments, he was back in my arms.  Wow, he was beautiful..  He had pretty pink skin and his eyes were wide open.  And, all that blond hair!  Did this really just happen?  Are we really parents?  In a matter of seconds, I became a mom.  The whole event was wild and incredible.  I don't know how anyone could experience the miracle of childbirth and not come away knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists.

Ethan Michael Hathcox was born at 10:24am after 2 1/2 hours of active labor.  He weighed 7lbs, 12.1oz and was 21 1/4" long.  He had all ten fingers and ten toes, and his daddy's nose.  I did not realize that my heart could grow any bigger.

We spent the next two hours getting to know our son.  The hospital staff took some measurements and a few footprints.  And, I shocked myself by wanting to try breastfeeding.  Most people who've had any baby talks with me know that I was really freaked out by the thought of BFing - I understand it's a very natural thing, but I personally found it quite foreign.  My plan was to pump and try to stay away from formula that way.  However, I also stated that I would keep an open mind.  Well, the maternal urge turned out to be very strong for me.  It felt natural, and for that I am very thankful.  Once everything was ok'ed, we were whisked away to our Mother/Baby suite for visitors.  My doc even went out to visit my parents after he delivered Ethan, but we requested he not share the news yet so that Michael could when we were ready.  Once I was comfortably set up in the suite (and we had a few sweet moments to ourselves), he went out to the waiting room.  My mom asked how many centimeters dilated I was, and he responded with, "Would you all like to come meet Ethan?"  I am so happy that he was able to have that.  Best moment ever!

The days at the hospital were filled with visitors and an amazing amount of love.  We are truly blessed!  And, so in love!

Our little Who Dat!

Uncle Matt

Cousins, JC & Layne

flowers from Michael, our parents and work

When it was finally time to go home, we were more than ready.  Ethan's trip into the world was complete, and we were ready to get into a new groove with our little family. 

Look out world!  Here comes Trouble!  I mean, Ethan! :)

OMG! I just got born!

Well, hello there!

All strapped in and ready to go!

Let's blow this popsicle stand!