Each day brings a new set of challenges - but in our situation, it feels like the roller coaster goes much higher and lower.
My parents are still waiting on their FEMA trailer. They've sent several people out (and, on holidays) to measure, re-measure, survey - lather, rinse, repeat. The money that the government is spending on this shit is mind-blowing.
We are still "2 weeks" out... Floor guy started yesterday, and made no secret of the completely shitty job the original guy did when we built the house. It is no wonder why he stopped responding to when I was questioning his work and him fixing it. The floors will go through the end of the week, minimal. Once the floors are done, we can technically start moving in as long as we don't mind guys still coming in and out to complete work. We will evaluate what needs to be done, but I am pretty certain we will start unpacking and arranging for our furniture to arrive. My little family is dying to be home.
Once we move home, we can start to evaluate the yard. It is a MESS. We keep saying that we can't wait to be able to enjoy our patio again, but now that the neighbors have a FEMA trailer in their backyard (looking right into our back yard!), it may not be quite as we remember for a while... lol
I feel like once everything is done, I will need to take several weeks off just to get everything back in order. The funny thing is...that is probably so false. Our possessions were pretty much cut in half or more. There is not much to move back in. #minimalistlife Either way, I am excited to be home soon...
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Bullshit
So, here I sit after having called to move the delivery date of our new bed for the fourth time. Originally, we were going to be home by Thanksgiving. Then, a few slow days turned it into "DEFINITELY before Christmas!" Oh, wait, the granite guys took over 2 weeks to get back to finish their work - which held up the plumber and trim guys. Looks like, it will be after Christmas - but BY NEW YEAR! Opps...plumbers and trim guys are taking longer than expected. And, the floor guy is behind on another job. At this rate, it could be Valentine's Day - but let's not get too excited.
To say the last 4 1/2 months have been stressful is a complete understatement.
My life has been turned upside down. My boys don't want to sleep at night - partly because of shuffling through different beds and environments. Air mattress some nights, opportunity for a real bed another night or two, shift over to another house and bed for a night.... It's no wonder they are wound up and cranky at times. They can't play the way they were accustomed to pre-flood - they don't have their toy room or big yard with their trampoline. There are more rules, more "don't touch that", more "sit down", more being quiet... My work days consist of roughly 2.5-3 hours round-trip commutes, 9-10 hours at work, a couple of hours spent with the boys/doing laundry/straightening up our space/etc. and approximately 1-2 hours fighting them to go to sleep. That leaves less than 7 hours to combine sleep and getting ready for work in the mornings - and that's if there is nothing else to add in the mix. If a stop at any store needs to be made, go ahead and take that out of the "sleep" allotment.
I feel more unhealthy than ever right now (I've gained at least 20lbs back). I can't store food and cook the way I did before - there are just too many of us sharing space. We do the best we can, and thankfully my dad has been cooking hearty meals (although not so great for my waistline). My regular gym is still renovating from the flood. I've tried to visit other locations, but it's just another thing to add to the list that is completely out of the way. I even tried to go to 5:30am Spin on Perkins, but even that didn't work. Class doesn't start on time, and then I have a very small window to get showered and dressed for work to be there on time. Ended up being super stressful... AND, I was ready for a nap by 10am. No bueno.
I have never felt so frustrated with my situation. And, so helpless... Which is not fair of me to allow for my family or myself. I keep saying that once we get home and have a chance to breathe, that things will start to fall back into place. I am such a planner, and this has been WAY out of my comfort zone. I am so ready for the next couple of weeks to pass. SO READY.
To say the last 4 1/2 months have been stressful is a complete understatement.
My life has been turned upside down. My boys don't want to sleep at night - partly because of shuffling through different beds and environments. Air mattress some nights, opportunity for a real bed another night or two, shift over to another house and bed for a night.... It's no wonder they are wound up and cranky at times. They can't play the way they were accustomed to pre-flood - they don't have their toy room or big yard with their trampoline. There are more rules, more "don't touch that", more "sit down", more being quiet... My work days consist of roughly 2.5-3 hours round-trip commutes, 9-10 hours at work, a couple of hours spent with the boys/doing laundry/straightening up our space/etc. and approximately 1-2 hours fighting them to go to sleep. That leaves less than 7 hours to combine sleep and getting ready for work in the mornings - and that's if there is nothing else to add in the mix. If a stop at any store needs to be made, go ahead and take that out of the "sleep" allotment.
I feel more unhealthy than ever right now (I've gained at least 20lbs back). I can't store food and cook the way I did before - there are just too many of us sharing space. We do the best we can, and thankfully my dad has been cooking hearty meals (although not so great for my waistline). My regular gym is still renovating from the flood. I've tried to visit other locations, but it's just another thing to add to the list that is completely out of the way. I even tried to go to 5:30am Spin on Perkins, but even that didn't work. Class doesn't start on time, and then I have a very small window to get showered and dressed for work to be there on time. Ended up being super stressful... AND, I was ready for a nap by 10am. No bueno.
I have never felt so frustrated with my situation. And, so helpless... Which is not fair of me to allow for my family or myself. I keep saying that once we get home and have a chance to breathe, that things will start to fall back into place. I am such a planner, and this has been WAY out of my comfort zone. I am so ready for the next couple of weeks to pass. SO READY.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
#FloodLyfe
So, yesterday marked a month since water came rushing into my home...a month since it covered my floors, my babies' toys, seeped into my furniture and cabinetry...
It has been a month since my family became homeless.
At 6am on Saturday, August 13th, I was woken up by a call from my dad. The boys had slept in my bed with me, and I tried to speak quietly as to not wake them up. My dad was concerned that I needed to leave since I was home alone with my boys. Michael had been forced in to work the day before, and knew that he would not be released until Monday morning at the earliest due to road closures. However, I was prepared to be stuck high and dry on an island in my neighborhood with two stir-crazy little boys. I assured him we would be fine, but that they needed to leave as soon as possible. At 9:30am, I received another text from my cousin next door to my parents...they were already ankle deep in their houses. They were trying to get off of their street, but the water was too high for vehicles. They had to wait for a boat.
I felt absolutely helpless. Around 10:30am, my father-in-law called to tell me they were coming to get me and the boys to bring us to higher ground. I did not want to leave - I thought it was overkill. I was perfectly content to just stay home and wait it out with my boys. However, I pushed my stubborn feelings aside, and agreed to leave with them. At approximately 2pm, I grabbed my boys and we left our home with a few changes of clothes, three books and a few favorite toys. I knew we would be back soon, so I didn't worry with much else. I never imagined that the next time I saw my home, it would be completely devastated.
We went up the road to Michael's grandmother's house. She was busy cooking beans for supper. There was some water in the front yard, but was not moving at that moment. Michael's older brother and girlfriend arrived. The house they were living in had taken on water that was now about waist deep. By 3pm, it was quite obvious that MawMaw's house would be taking on water very soon. I was watching it creep across the lawn. Spiders were all over the patio trying to outrun the water. We moved my car and hers up to the road, and then packed up what we could to leave. I realized as we drove down the driveway that in the 15 minutes it took for us to get collected to leave, the water came up high enough that my car would not have made it out at that point. I buckled Liam into his car seat and let Ethan ride shotgun in his uncle's truck - we had to get out of that area. Our caravan made it over to Michael's parents' house. They were still dry and had power.
I was texting with my neighbors that had stayed behind. Water was rushing into the streets, and there was no way out. It was happening quickly, and all were certain that our homes would be flooding soon...
By 8:30pm, I received a solid confirmation that our neighbors had water in their home. There was no doubt now.
It was all very surreal, to be honest. You kind of hold out a little hope until you finally see it yourself. Sunday morning, I received a picture of my house from across the street. Our neighbors, Brittney and Todd were still waiting to be rescued after spending the night with seven people huddled on top of their kitchen island. Their youngest son strapped into the only life jacket they could find. I broke down. That would have been me, but alone with my two babies. Stop for a second, and think about that. I wanted to stay behind. I almost fought for it. I would have been in the dark with a 5 year old and a 2 year old...nowhere to go for safety. Our only option being the highest place inside the house for us to all fit - my kitchen island. Thank God that for once I was not stubborn.
Sunday morning, we woke up to the realization that Michael's parents would be getting some water as well. The boys and I moved up the road to a family friend's house. They were still doing well with no water and power, and had a room for us to stay in until the water went down. Thankful does not even begin to describe the feeling. The Fennels gave us shelter, hot showers and meals, and WINE! :) During the next couple of days, communication was limited and it was difficult to tell exactly when we would be able to get out to see the damage we would be facing. Michael was forced to leave work Sunday morning after being "on" for 60 straight hours. He was able to get to Baton Rouge, and stayed with friends until the interstate was finally opened early Tuesday morning. At about 6am, the door to the bedroom the boys and I were sleeping in opened. Liam was the first to pop up, "Is that Daddy?!" Bring on all the tears.
Since the roads were clear enough, we decided to go see our house. Nothing can quite prepare you to see your entire life mucked up from a flood. Or, for the smell...
It almost makes you wish it had just been a fire. Then you wouldn't have to go through the painful process of pulling everything you ever owned out and hauling it to the road. Or, have to rip your soggy walls out and dig insulation until you get to something dry. Or...have to pull out every cabinet and built-in that was touched by water. When someone says, "Oh, it doesn't look that bad!" or "It could have been worse!" it makes me want to punch them in the throat. Please, PLEASE tell me how you think it's not that bad. I would LOVE to hear it. Please tell me how I shouldn't cry as my wedding dress is pulled from the mud, or how my son's foot and hand prints from over the years going in the trash "isn't that bad". Not everyone is completely insensitive, and I do recognize that some people just do not know what to say (and, as a result, may say the wrong thing). I've been pretty proud of myself for not completely snapping off at anyone for their not-very-well-thought-out commentary.
What I can say through this process is that we have had some absolutely amazing family, friends and co-workers that have come to our rescue. From demo-ing our dream home...being a listening ear...a meal and some time away...it has all been extremely humbling, and we are forever grateful. There are so many people I still need to personally thank... It's overwhelming the love and compassion we have been shown over the last month. My company actually gave our site the week off, and rallied groups together to send to affected employees' houses to help demo and gut. We were blown away.
The kids have handled it better than I could have anticipated. Naturally, they've been wound up and a little stir-crazy at times - to be expected. Ethan has taught me so much through this ordeal. He talks about the "mean flood water" messing up his house, but he has never been angry or overtly upset. He is happy to be alive and with us - that is all he wants. Smart, loving kid. My brother and sister-in-law have been absolute angels sent from heaven. They welcomed us into their home and have tried to make us comfortable, help where and when they could/can. It has been amazing...
I guess this is a sort of condensed version of my little family's experience in the "Great Flood". There were so many more emotions, high tensions, and side stories... Pretty much everyone around here has a flood story - whether it includes their house being flooded, a parent or other immediate family member, or even close friends. No one in this area is completely unscathed from this piece of shit disaster. Literally, 90% of homes in my hometown had water damage as a direct result of the "Great Flood of 2016". My mind still can't process it.
There is still so much to do, but we are getting it done one day at a time. I have had to learn to have more patience than ever before.
It has been a month since my family became homeless.
At 6am on Saturday, August 13th, I was woken up by a call from my dad. The boys had slept in my bed with me, and I tried to speak quietly as to not wake them up. My dad was concerned that I needed to leave since I was home alone with my boys. Michael had been forced in to work the day before, and knew that he would not be released until Monday morning at the earliest due to road closures. However, I was prepared to be stuck high and dry on an island in my neighborhood with two stir-crazy little boys. I assured him we would be fine, but that they needed to leave as soon as possible. At 9:30am, I received another text from my cousin next door to my parents...they were already ankle deep in their houses. They were trying to get off of their street, but the water was too high for vehicles. They had to wait for a boat.
I felt absolutely helpless. Around 10:30am, my father-in-law called to tell me they were coming to get me and the boys to bring us to higher ground. I did not want to leave - I thought it was overkill. I was perfectly content to just stay home and wait it out with my boys. However, I pushed my stubborn feelings aside, and agreed to leave with them. At approximately 2pm, I grabbed my boys and we left our home with a few changes of clothes, three books and a few favorite toys. I knew we would be back soon, so I didn't worry with much else. I never imagined that the next time I saw my home, it would be completely devastated.
We went up the road to Michael's grandmother's house. She was busy cooking beans for supper. There was some water in the front yard, but was not moving at that moment. Michael's older brother and girlfriend arrived. The house they were living in had taken on water that was now about waist deep. By 3pm, it was quite obvious that MawMaw's house would be taking on water very soon. I was watching it creep across the lawn. Spiders were all over the patio trying to outrun the water. We moved my car and hers up to the road, and then packed up what we could to leave. I realized as we drove down the driveway that in the 15 minutes it took for us to get collected to leave, the water came up high enough that my car would not have made it out at that point. I buckled Liam into his car seat and let Ethan ride shotgun in his uncle's truck - we had to get out of that area. Our caravan made it over to Michael's parents' house. They were still dry and had power.
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| About to leave MawMaw's house... |
By 8:30pm, I received a solid confirmation that our neighbors had water in their home. There was no doubt now.
 |
| My street |
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| My home... |
Sunday morning, we woke up to the realization that Michael's parents would be getting some water as well. The boys and I moved up the road to a family friend's house. They were still doing well with no water and power, and had a room for us to stay in until the water went down. Thankful does not even begin to describe the feeling. The Fennels gave us shelter, hot showers and meals, and WINE! :) During the next couple of days, communication was limited and it was difficult to tell exactly when we would be able to get out to see the damage we would be facing. Michael was forced to leave work Sunday morning after being "on" for 60 straight hours. He was able to get to Baton Rouge, and stayed with friends until the interstate was finally opened early Tuesday morning. At about 6am, the door to the bedroom the boys and I were sleeping in opened. Liam was the first to pop up, "Is that Daddy?!" Bring on all the tears.
Since the roads were clear enough, we decided to go see our house. Nothing can quite prepare you to see your entire life mucked up from a flood. Or, for the smell...
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| Back yard |
 |
| Bed completely ruined as the water absorbed up into the mattress. |
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| My "dream" kitchen |
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| My master bathroom |
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| The growing trash pile... |
What I can say through this process is that we have had some absolutely amazing family, friends and co-workers that have come to our rescue. From demo-ing our dream home...being a listening ear...a meal and some time away...it has all been extremely humbling, and we are forever grateful. There are so many people I still need to personally thank... It's overwhelming the love and compassion we have been shown over the last month. My company actually gave our site the week off, and rallied groups together to send to affected employees' houses to help demo and gut. We were blown away.
The kids have handled it better than I could have anticipated. Naturally, they've been wound up and a little stir-crazy at times - to be expected. Ethan has taught me so much through this ordeal. He talks about the "mean flood water" messing up his house, but he has never been angry or overtly upset. He is happy to be alive and with us - that is all he wants. Smart, loving kid. My brother and sister-in-law have been absolute angels sent from heaven. They welcomed us into their home and have tried to make us comfortable, help where and when they could/can. It has been amazing...
I guess this is a sort of condensed version of my little family's experience in the "Great Flood". There were so many more emotions, high tensions, and side stories... Pretty much everyone around here has a flood story - whether it includes their house being flooded, a parent or other immediate family member, or even close friends. No one in this area is completely unscathed from this piece of shit disaster. Literally, 90% of homes in my hometown had water damage as a direct result of the "Great Flood of 2016". My mind still can't process it.
There is still so much to do, but we are getting it done one day at a time. I have had to learn to have more patience than ever before.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
New Year's Goals
Everywhere you look, you see New Year's Resolutions popping up in all shapes and sizes. I started to give some thought to whether or not I really wanted to join the cliche, but realized I had already started what I would have considered as one of them. So, what the hell? Just to be different, I labeled them as my "Goals". Resolution is defined as "a firm decision to do or not to do something". I wouldn't say these are "firm decisions" - they are truly goals. So, with that in mind, here are my goals for 2016:
1.) Continue on my weight loss journey, and get back down into the 130s. Oh, this is a fun one. First of all, I have to admit to the world that my Driver's License is a dirty liar. Second, it just reminds me that these first 10 pounds I've lost are just the beginning. I'm building muscle, and my clothes are fitting in a drastically different and better way. So, if I get into the low 140s and I feel/look amazing, then I'm good with that! Looking back at myself at 130-135, I was skinny for me - but I was also mostly a cardio bunny with a little bit of muscle. So, I think 135-140 is a favorable goal, but I could easily live with something higher if my body is slammin'!
2.) Complete at least one sprint triathlon. This is obviously in the same spirit of the first goal. Before I had Ethan, I did 5ks, 10k, a half marathon and a few sprint triathlons. I have ZERO desire to do anymore running races, but I LOVED the triathlons. I have a competitive spirit, and the mix of swimming, biking and running was perfect. Rocketchix was awesome because it's all ladies and smallish compared to other competitions. However, these types of races have grown in popularity so there are definitely a few more options than there were several years ago.
3.) Earn my PHR certification. So, this is a goal that keeps getting put on the back burner. I've taken classes, and even attempted the test (that bitch is no joke) at the worst times of my life - being pregnant, living with my parents and building a house (no stress, right?!). So, my goal is to carve out some time to truly dedicate to getting this done. The test is give twice a year, and planning to take the Winter 2016 test would probably be in my best interest when you start including the above goals. Once I get to the summer and gear down into body maintenance mode, I can dedicate more energy to this certification.
4.) Pay off my car & eliminate any remaining CC debt. They says it's good to carry a little bit of debt when it comes to building your credit score. Honestly, I don't really give a shit about that for this goal. We made sure everything was perfect for building and acquiring our house - followed the rules even if we didn't like them. But, now... The house is done and there will not be any large purchases any time soon. In that spirit, it's time to knock that shit out. That means strapping down and making budget cuts. I've already made some cuts by looking at what can be eliminated on a monthly basis. It's not fun, but the end result will be a lot more financial freedom.
Again, these are my "goals" for the year. I realize that I may not hit one or two (or any for that matter!), but I'm a planner and enjoy a challenge. Here's to a better year and an awesome 2016!
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
When it's your child...
There is nothing that prepares you for a doctor to tell you that something is wrong with your baby. Nothing. Especially when you thought everything had been perfect from the start - but, let's be real...nothing makes them less perfect.
I had been working for Ceres maybe a couple of weeks when I came home and noticed that something was not right with Liam. Michael says that no matter what kind of grief me taking that job brought to us, that it was a blessing because of what it caused me to notice with being gone days at a time. Up to that point, Liam had been progressing like a textbook baby. Rolling over, pushing up, babbling - everything was right on track. Then, all of a sudden it was no longer real. I clearly remember being in the car when it started to hit me. At the time, he was 9 months old. I remember thinking... He is not crawling, but Ethan delayed crawling almost up to the point of walking (which was at a year on the dot). He is not pushing himself to sitting from the floor...Ethan flipped himself up out of his crib at 9 months old. He is not pulling up...at all. My heart started to sink. Since I had stopped for gas, I quickly Googled "does not use left arm at 9 months". All of the search results said the same thing: Cerebral Palsy. I started to cry. I called the pediatrician's office to make an appointment while I was still sitting at the gas station. She could tell I was upset, and scheduled an appointment that Michael would have to attend since I would be back in Dulac. I came home visibly upset. All I wanted to do was figure out what was going on with my baby. Michael comforted me and assured me that it would be nothing we could not manage.
On December 16th, the pediatrician agreed that something was not right and referred us to physical therapy. She also suggested that we go ahead and make an appointment with a pediatric neurologist. We moved forward with both. On December 29th, Liam had his first round of physical therapy. The therapist was great. She noted his weaknesses and asked about the neuro appointment. Then, she recommended we get started with Early Steps. Because the program was income based, we did not think we could qualify for it. Thankfully, the program has been updated; and while it is still expensive, it is not nearly as costly as private therapy. We went ahead and started the process.
On January 28th, Michael brought Liam to his first neurologist appointment. He gave me a brief overview of the session, but the main piece was that she wanted an MRI done of his brain... On February 9th, I walked with my little man as far as they would let me before kissing him goodbye for his first procedure. They had to put him under anesthesia and the whole procedure would last about an hour. It sounded so simple, but things never are when it's your children.
Michael and I got a bite to eat at the hospital and then he had to go to work. I anxiously sat and waited for my baby to be rolled back out. He did very well and I was able to nurse him once we were back in recovery. Before long, we were discharged and ready to go home.
Two days later, I was down at the levee. The neurologist's office called - she had the results. The pediatric neurologist introduced herself since we had not met at the appointment. She then gave a quick rundown of what she had covered with Michael. "We thought that maybe he had a stroke..." I'm not sure I registered what else she said immediately following. I had to catch my breath. No, I was not aware that my baby could have had a stroke. In an effort to protect me, Michael had withheld some of the possibilities they had covered. I was brought back to reality when she started to discuss the MRI findings. Liam most likely did have a stroke (possibly an infection or exposure to a toxin), but it would have been during my first trimester with him. The result was a cleft in his brain on the right side. The diagnosis: Schizencephaly (specifically - unilateral, closed lipped). Now, that's a nice big scary word for a mother who is three hours away from her baby. I started to scribble down pieces of her explanation. She said thankfully it was small, and appeared to only go through the area of his brain that affected motor skills on the left side - primarily his arm. After I got off the phone, I did what any other completely distraught mother would do - turned to Dr. Google. Between the information my husband had not shared and what my Google search turned up, to say I was upset was a COMPLETE understatement. I'm not sure how I functioned from that point until the follow-up appointment that Friday...
At the follow-up, we learned that we would need to add occupational therapy to our regiment. We also discovered that time would be the only way to get some real answers. Liam could have seizures. He might have a learning disability. But, his brain injury would not worsen. It was not genetic - just spontaneous. His progression so far made his diagnosis less scary, but there were still so many unanswered questions. When would he walk? Could he start a school program like Ethan at 2 years old? How much do we share with people?
We decided that we did not want to draw unnecessary attention. We shared the news with our family and close friends - and have shared it when we felt it was relevant or people asked questions (like if he was walking now that he is older). Liam is a normal little boy - he just needs a little bit of extra help and patience. Over the last nine months, we have watched him go through slow times of progress, and lightning speed times of progress. Ultimately, we know our little man is flourishing and that it will continue. He is stubborn and strong-willed (just like his mother). In fact, an early Christmas present arrived yesterday. My sweet little man is walking.
I also cannot say enough wonderful things about the Early Steps program. If your child is experiencing any sort of delay that raises a cause for concern, they are unbelievably helpful. The case workers, therapists, everyone involved has been a Godsend.
I debated on if and when to talk about this publicly, but I realized that it is nothing to be ashamed of. My son may need a little extra help right now, but there is nothing wrong with that. I have started to notice that Ethan may be experiencing a little bit of regression, just because Liam does get some extra attention with therapies and needing to be carried at times. We do whatever we need to for Liam to excel, but also keep in mind our independent little 4 year old has needs too. It is definitely a balancing act. Let's just say that there is never a dull moment.
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| My sweet little Santa last year |
On December 16th, the pediatrician agreed that something was not right and referred us to physical therapy. She also suggested that we go ahead and make an appointment with a pediatric neurologist. We moved forward with both. On December 29th, Liam had his first round of physical therapy. The therapist was great. She noted his weaknesses and asked about the neuro appointment. Then, she recommended we get started with Early Steps. Because the program was income based, we did not think we could qualify for it. Thankfully, the program has been updated; and while it is still expensive, it is not nearly as costly as private therapy. We went ahead and started the process.
On January 28th, Michael brought Liam to his first neurologist appointment. He gave me a brief overview of the session, but the main piece was that she wanted an MRI done of his brain... On February 9th, I walked with my little man as far as they would let me before kissing him goodbye for his first procedure. They had to put him under anesthesia and the whole procedure would last about an hour. It sounded so simple, but things never are when it's your children.
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| Ready to go back for his MRI |
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| Awake and hungry! |
At the follow-up, we learned that we would need to add occupational therapy to our regiment. We also discovered that time would be the only way to get some real answers. Liam could have seizures. He might have a learning disability. But, his brain injury would not worsen. It was not genetic - just spontaneous. His progression so far made his diagnosis less scary, but there were still so many unanswered questions. When would he walk? Could he start a school program like Ethan at 2 years old? How much do we share with people?
The one thing that I constantly remind myself is how lucky we are. Stories about babies who are sick or have physical impairments touch me so much deeper now. There are many levels to Schizencephaly, and we are so blessed that Liam will be able to work through his diagnosis with the assistance of therapy and live a normal life. So many children out there are not as lucky.
I also cannot say enough wonderful things about the Early Steps program. If your child is experiencing any sort of delay that raises a cause for concern, they are unbelievably helpful. The case workers, therapists, everyone involved has been a Godsend.
I debated on if and when to talk about this publicly, but I realized that it is nothing to be ashamed of. My son may need a little extra help right now, but there is nothing wrong with that. I have started to notice that Ethan may be experiencing a little bit of regression, just because Liam does get some extra attention with therapies and needing to be carried at times. We do whatever we need to for Liam to excel, but also keep in mind our independent little 4 year old has needs too. It is definitely a balancing act. Let's just say that there is never a dull moment.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Closing Time - 2015
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."
For me, Thanksgiving has always felt like the beginning of the end for each year. Kind of like an "oh shit!" moment for anything I had originally planned to get done that year. It's a seemingly unbreakable, habitual cycle.
This year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster - an absolute whirlwind of ups and downs. One year ago today, I was in my last two weeks at DSLD Homes. It was a bittersweet time. I had come to a point where I knew that if I wanted to grow my career, I had to make a change. I was very comfortable, but I wanted more. After some discussions via phone and in-person, as well as some lengthy emailing, I decided to accept a heavily travel based job with a company called Ceres Environmental that would bring me down to Dulac every week to manage the HR functions for a project that was building levee systems. The original plan was for a short, three-month stint of 2-3 overnights each week down in Houma, with Mondays and Fridays being work-from-home days. Once that was complete, I would be based back in the Baton Rouge office on a regular schedule. After my first week, I came home crying. I knew I had made a mistake. The entire project was a mess. I missed my family, and the guilt of being away so much weighed heavily on me. It was not long before I realized that I had been sold a promise that my boss could not and would not keep. Three months? HA! Try at least 18 months. Work from home on Mondays and Fridays? HA! Actually, we need you to go down to the levee to lay 13 people off. Michael tried to be supportive. "You have owned worse situations. Make it your bitch!" he said. The problem was, I did not want to "make it my bitch". I wanted to be home with my boys. I had given up my comfort zone - partly so that he could take a job with DSLD that had the potential to be a better fit for our family. The guilt led to bitterness.
I recognized that none of this was healthy - for me, my boys, my family. But, I also had no idea what to do. I started looking for other opportunities. I reluctantly put my resume out to a couple of places. I felt like such a failure. This was supposed to be an opportunity to grow into a brand new role, and possibly gain the chance to see new places. Sometimes, it is hard to accept the "it's not me, it's you" when you place such high expectations on yourself. There was no reason I should not have been able to walk in and own it. But, I did not even want to. There were a number of frustrating factors, and the combination of negative people and surroundings caused me to throw my hands up and say, "F*CK IT!"
As it turned out, the timing was pretty much perfect.
One day while I was on-site at the levee, I started searching around on LinkedIn. I ran across a posting for an HR Advisor position with a chemical plant back home. I read over it and thought maybe it was over my head (mainly because I had no manufacturing/plant experience). I ended up coming back to it again after a friend texted me and recommended that I look into it and apply. I was pretty surprised to receive a call to come in for an interview. Thankfully, it came at a time when I had taken (a MUCH needed) vacation to just be home. Ultimately, I made it through their assessment testing and then into a follow-up interview - the process was pretty lengthy. This came at the same time I was called for a Benefits Specialist position with a company that was actually in Denham Springs. I received an offer from both companies within 24 hours of each other. So, here I was again. A position VERY close to home with not much room to grow/advance. Or, a little bit of a drive to be with a global leader in the methanol industry (career opportunities abound). I took the career growth path again - praying I did not make the same mistake twice. I took a deep breath, and jumped in.
That was six months ago - the same amount of time I spent in career hell with Ceres. Today, I can safely say I made the right choice. I have found a company that cares about and invests in their employees. I have opportunities to be involved with global projects and participate in a variety of ways that make me feel like I am asset to this company. No, not everything in my life is peaches and cream again - remember that rollercoaster? Yeah, it was so much more than just my job. But, piecing it back together, one shitty area at a time is a good start. ;) I finally work with a true team and have a connection to each of my department co-workers - something I have never had before. I have to say... It's really f*cking nice.
For me, Thanksgiving has always felt like the beginning of the end for each year. Kind of like an "oh shit!" moment for anything I had originally planned to get done that year. It's a seemingly unbreakable, habitual cycle.
This year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster - an absolute whirlwind of ups and downs. One year ago today, I was in my last two weeks at DSLD Homes. It was a bittersweet time. I had come to a point where I knew that if I wanted to grow my career, I had to make a change. I was very comfortable, but I wanted more. After some discussions via phone and in-person, as well as some lengthy emailing, I decided to accept a heavily travel based job with a company called Ceres Environmental that would bring me down to Dulac every week to manage the HR functions for a project that was building levee systems. The original plan was for a short, three-month stint of 2-3 overnights each week down in Houma, with Mondays and Fridays being work-from-home days. Once that was complete, I would be based back in the Baton Rouge office on a regular schedule. After my first week, I came home crying. I knew I had made a mistake. The entire project was a mess. I missed my family, and the guilt of being away so much weighed heavily on me. It was not long before I realized that I had been sold a promise that my boss could not and would not keep. Three months? HA! Try at least 18 months. Work from home on Mondays and Fridays? HA! Actually, we need you to go down to the levee to lay 13 people off. Michael tried to be supportive. "You have owned worse situations. Make it your bitch!" he said. The problem was, I did not want to "make it my bitch". I wanted to be home with my boys. I had given up my comfort zone - partly so that he could take a job with DSLD that had the potential to be a better fit for our family. The guilt led to bitterness.
I recognized that none of this was healthy - for me, my boys, my family. But, I also had no idea what to do. I started looking for other opportunities. I reluctantly put my resume out to a couple of places. I felt like such a failure. This was supposed to be an opportunity to grow into a brand new role, and possibly gain the chance to see new places. Sometimes, it is hard to accept the "it's not me, it's you" when you place such high expectations on yourself. There was no reason I should not have been able to walk in and own it. But, I did not even want to. There were a number of frustrating factors, and the combination of negative people and surroundings caused me to throw my hands up and say, "F*CK IT!"
As it turned out, the timing was pretty much perfect.
One day while I was on-site at the levee, I started searching around on LinkedIn. I ran across a posting for an HR Advisor position with a chemical plant back home. I read over it and thought maybe it was over my head (mainly because I had no manufacturing/plant experience). I ended up coming back to it again after a friend texted me and recommended that I look into it and apply. I was pretty surprised to receive a call to come in for an interview. Thankfully, it came at a time when I had taken (a MUCH needed) vacation to just be home. Ultimately, I made it through their assessment testing and then into a follow-up interview - the process was pretty lengthy. This came at the same time I was called for a Benefits Specialist position with a company that was actually in Denham Springs. I received an offer from both companies within 24 hours of each other. So, here I was again. A position VERY close to home with not much room to grow/advance. Or, a little bit of a drive to be with a global leader in the methanol industry (career opportunities abound). I took the career growth path again - praying I did not make the same mistake twice. I took a deep breath, and jumped in.
That was six months ago - the same amount of time I spent in career hell with Ceres. Today, I can safely say I made the right choice. I have found a company that cares about and invests in their employees. I have opportunities to be involved with global projects and participate in a variety of ways that make me feel like I am asset to this company. No, not everything in my life is peaches and cream again - remember that rollercoaster? Yeah, it was so much more than just my job. But, piecing it back together, one shitty area at a time is a good start. ;) I finally work with a true team and have a connection to each of my department co-workers - something I have never had before. I have to say... It's really f*cking nice.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Liam Edward Hathcox
Now that Liam is almost 3 months old and I am back to work, I am finally finding the time to finish writing about his birth story (it's been in the works for a few weeks now). I have bolded the times to help keep track of how quickly things started to progress. It was definitely a wild ride...
**Disclaimer: I'm going to speak honestly about it all, so just be prepared. This isn't a day at the park. It wasn't pretty. I mean, c'mon. I pushed a kid out of my vagina.
Saturday, March 8th - more than 2 weeks before Liam's estimated due date
Michael and I had a few items left to move out of my parents' house. So, we leisurely got up that morning and headed over to make a load/run. My parents were out of town visiting my older brother in Austin, so we didn't hang around to chitchat like we normally would have.
On our way back, we decided to pick up some lunch from Don's Seafood - I had serious cravings for their mildly spicy chicken and sausage gumbo! We tried putting Ethan down for his nap, but he was very restless. So, once we were done with lunch, I laid down with him to help him settle - turned out to be a very good thing!
Around 5:30pm, we woke up from our nap to find that Michael had left to make another trip for items from my parents' house. As I was sitting on the edge of Ethan's bed, I felt like I was about to pee on myself! I ran to the bathroom, but once I was there, I didn't really feel like I needed to "go"...it was different. I was...umm....leaking without really peeing. At this point, I thought, "Maybe my water is breaking...Naaaah! I still have to be at work at least another week to get my temp trained!" Plus, I still had a small list of to-do items. So, I got up and started to pick up around the house. That lasted all of about 30 seconds, and I was back in the bathroom again! This time, I started pushing on my stomach and I would "gush". Oh shit. I called Michael. "I think my water is breaking?" He immediately headed back to the house. I called my mom - "Go to the hospital right now!"
Ok, so this is where things start to get fun. Yes, I was 99% sure my water was breaking, but I hadn't had that momentous break like it did with Ethan (granted, they broke my water in the hospital, so it was a little different). Plus, my contractions were not painful or uncomfortable, so I couldn't get a good grip on timing them. I texted our doula, Hannah, and our birth photographer, Joylynn, at around 6:20pm. I was thinking that we might head to the hospital soon, but after talking to Hannah, I felt more comfortable about not rushing. My plan was to go natural, so I wanted to be as comfortable as possible through the labor process. I wasn't worried about getting to the hospital in time for an epidural. (Although, as it turns out, I really do pop babies pretty quick, so it's a good thing I already had no epi in my mind!).
We started to pack for the hospital, and I went ahead and showered. Ethan was so confused as to what the rushing around was all about. At one point I was just standing in the shower because I didn't know what else to do, and he came running up to me saying, "Don't pee in the shower, Mommy!!" LOL
Michael's parents arrived around 8pm or so to stay with Ethan while we were gone for the night. He was pretty much ready for bed, so it didn't make sense to uproot him to somewhere else. We packed the car, gave lots of hugs and kisses and headed out a little after 9pm.
I had decided that we had plenty of time, so we went by Whole Foods to pick up my labor snacks - fruit gummies and energy honey combs. At this point, I'm starting to feel the contractions, but they're only mildly uncomfortable. Still thinking we had plenty of time, we head to the Target close to the hospital. Once inside Target, each contraction slowed my walking a little. I could tell they were getting more intense, but still not painful. We selected a baby book and then I wanted to grab a "going home" outfit. That was still on my to-do list, and I figured I might need a preemie outfit since he was going to be an early baby - which turned out to be right! When we checked out of Target, our receipt read "10:10pm".
Because I hadn't eaten since lunch, I asked that we stop at the IHOP by Target to get some eggs and toast. Michael thought I was crazy, but obliged. There was going to be a 15 minutes wait, so we sat down. A large group of 15 ladies walked in behind us and filled the waiting area. All of a sudden, I felt a waterfall start in my pants. OH SHIT. I ran to the bathroom. It wouldn't stop. Now what? I get to walk out in front of everyone looking like I can't stop pissing my pants! Since I was obviously pregnant, I hoped that everyone would see the real event that was going on instead. I later found out that I left a puddle on the seat next to Michael, and that one of the ladies in the group that came in after us made big eye contact with him - so he had to be the embarrassed one and clean up after me! I came tearing out of the bathroom saying, "We have to GO. My water just REALLY broke!"
We run out to the parking lot and I rip my pants off and jump in the car. I had planned ahead with covering my seat with towels, thankfully. Michael goes to pull out of the parking lot to head to the hospital and I stop him. WTF?! "Pull over there, we can't go to the hospital yet!" Again, WTF?! For some reason, I couldn't wrap my head around everything that was going on. I asked Michael to grab a fresh pair of underwear and pants for me; to which he replied, "Why? They're just going to get wet too!" Let me explain something... A woman in labor can be a very unreasonable human being. She wants what she wants, and she wants it NOW. So, I sat there staring at the clean, dry underwear and pants Michael had just handed me, and I tried to think and be reasonable. Finally, I handed them back to him and said, "You're right. Let's go to the hospital." I tried to call Assessment to let them know I was coming, and they directed me to call the after hours nurse line. WTF. I'm having a baby, I was just letting you know that I'm on my way as a courtesy. So, I do as I'm told and call the after hours line for my doctor. They tell me to go to Assessment. Figures.
So, we pull up to Assessment at the hospital, and I am overcome with emotion. I am in denial that we are having a baby tonight, and I start crying as we walk up to the doors. Michael asks me if I'm alright, and I start sobbing about how I can't have a baby tonight because I have to go to work on Monday to train my temp. Again, WTF. He assures me that we are having a baby tonight, so going to work Monday is doubtful. LOL
I get inside and tell the receptionist that my water broke, and they quickly get me one of those stylish blue cloths to sit on while I wait to be checked in by the nurse. Once I'm called back to the little side room, they ask Michael to wait in the waiting area for a few minutes. I go through all of the fun questioning and they ask if I have a safe place to go after the baby is born. Well yes, but then I realized that was the reason Michael was asked to wait outside. Wow...kind of scary to think that there are some women out there who could/would answer no to that question with their abusive significant other waiting on the other side of the wall. I smile and say, "Yes, I do." Michael and I are then transferred to the back where I slip into my cutesy hospital gown that I brought (because I'm vain, obviously). The nurse comes in and goes over my birth plan details with me - pretty much no problems with any of my requests, which was nice. Michael was then asked to go pay our estimated balance before we went upstairs - hospital gotta get the money! At this point, it's a little after 11pm and I am 4cm dilated - thinking it might be a long night. Ethan arrived about 2 - 2 1/2 hours after they broke my water, but I also had a pitocin drip to speed things along. So, I had no idea what to expect with a natural birth...
Sunday, March 9th - ish
Michael gets back and they roll us upstairs to Labor & Delivery (a little before midnight). We get in and settled - which means they ask a lot of the same questions Assessment did and then put in my hep lock (in case of emergency, and I need IV fluids, meds, etc.). While they're taking care of that, Michael contacts Hannah and Joylynn again. My contractions are 3-6 minutes apart, and I'm still about 4cm dilated. Hannah starts heading to the hospital, and Joylynn decides to wait a little longer since I can still talk through the contractions. Since I'm not tied to any machines, I'm free to roam. Michael starts walking laps with me around the nurses station. We make a total of three laps - each progressively harder to get through - before heading back to the room. Hannah arrives just as Michael is getting me back to the bed. The staff calls Dr. Perniciaro (my doc) - not sure if this was the first or second call. At this point it's 12:40am and I'm on all fours in the bed in pain. I'm thinking this was about the point where I asked for an epidural with Ethan, and I'm starting to question if I'm going to be able to make it all the way. Hannah starts to coach me...breathe into the pain, let it go. I'm not sure what kind of noises I was making, but they sure did help. Michael texts Joylynn that it might be soon; and I ask to get in the tub to try to relax a little and help with the increasing pain. While they're running the water, the nurse checks me and says that I am at 6cm now. Before I get in the tub, she wants to do a quick fetal check - which did not feel quick AT ALL. I was hurting and she was trying to get Liam's heartbeat with the sensors that are usually connected to the mother (but I had requested they not be). After what felt like forever, she got enough information to tell he was still doing well. I stripped down to my sports bra and eased into the water. I immediately felt better. The time is now 1am. Hannah asked if I wanted the birthing ball to lean on, which I did. That was probably the most comfortable and awkward part. The ball was way too big to be in the tub, but leaning across it helped me feel better. All of a sudden, I have two back-to-back contractions and I literally feel him drop into the birth canal. Oh shit. "I'm think I'm about to push! I feel like I need to push!" The nurse checks me, and I'm at 8cm and his head is right there - nothing left but to dilate just a little more and push him right out. She tells me that I will have to get out of the tub as soon as she gets back. She alerts the rest of the staff, and they start to rush in. Now, it's too late. I feel him coming. I can't help it or stop it. I push. The nurse comes running back, checks me and tells the others to call it - he's here. I hear clicking camera sounds - Joylynn made it. One more push and they help him out. He's in my arms.
What just happened? Did I really just do this?! He's here? Oh my God, he is so beautiful...He is perfect. So many people in one little bathroom space, and it's just me, Michael and Liam. Liam cries - the sweetest little sound. Then, he's calm. He's looking right at me. It's like he is studying me the same way I am studying him - trying to remember every detail of this moment...where we met for the first time. A few minutes later Perch stuck his head in and said, "Well, congratulations!" He may not have made the birth, but my body knew just what to do.
Liam Edward Hathcox was born at 1:10am. He weighed 6lbs 14oz, and was 20.5" long. Liam's birth could not have been more perfect and beautiful. It was everything I could have ever imagined, and more. I did not plan to have a water birth, but wouldn't trade it for the world now. I am so thankful for Michael and Hannah, and my very supportive nurse (who's name I wish I could remember). I wish every woman could have the same experience I did - to labor and birth as she wants in a safe and loving environment. Sometimes things are out of our control and we just have to let God take over. I feel so very blessed and fortunate for my story. Below is a link to the slide show that Joylynn prepared for us. I cannot explain the pure, raw emotion that courses through you when your child comes into this world. Maybe this video can do what words cannot...
Liam Edward's Birth Story by CherBebe
password: 032014
check your speaker volume - music playing
(G rated, maybe PG depending on who you are) ;)
**Disclaimer: I'm going to speak honestly about it all, so just be prepared. This isn't a day at the park. It wasn't pretty. I mean, c'mon. I pushed a kid out of my vagina.
Saturday, March 8th - more than 2 weeks before Liam's estimated due date
Michael and I had a few items left to move out of my parents' house. So, we leisurely got up that morning and headed over to make a load/run. My parents were out of town visiting my older brother in Austin, so we didn't hang around to chitchat like we normally would have.
 |
| I think he might have wished for his little brother that day. :) |
Around 5:30pm, we woke up from our nap to find that Michael had left to make another trip for items from my parents' house. As I was sitting on the edge of Ethan's bed, I felt like I was about to pee on myself! I ran to the bathroom, but once I was there, I didn't really feel like I needed to "go"...it was different. I was...umm....leaking without really peeing. At this point, I thought, "Maybe my water is breaking...Naaaah! I still have to be at work at least another week to get my temp trained!" Plus, I still had a small list of to-do items. So, I got up and started to pick up around the house. That lasted all of about 30 seconds, and I was back in the bathroom again! This time, I started pushing on my stomach and I would "gush". Oh shit. I called Michael. "I think my water is breaking?" He immediately headed back to the house. I called my mom - "Go to the hospital right now!"
Ok, so this is where things start to get fun. Yes, I was 99% sure my water was breaking, but I hadn't had that momentous break like it did with Ethan (granted, they broke my water in the hospital, so it was a little different). Plus, my contractions were not painful or uncomfortable, so I couldn't get a good grip on timing them. I texted our doula, Hannah, and our birth photographer, Joylynn, at around 6:20pm. I was thinking that we might head to the hospital soon, but after talking to Hannah, I felt more comfortable about not rushing. My plan was to go natural, so I wanted to be as comfortable as possible through the labor process. I wasn't worried about getting to the hospital in time for an epidural. (Although, as it turns out, I really do pop babies pretty quick, so it's a good thing I already had no epi in my mind!).
We started to pack for the hospital, and I went ahead and showered. Ethan was so confused as to what the rushing around was all about. At one point I was just standing in the shower because I didn't know what else to do, and he came running up to me saying, "Don't pee in the shower, Mommy!!" LOL
Michael's parents arrived around 8pm or so to stay with Ethan while we were gone for the night. He was pretty much ready for bed, so it didn't make sense to uproot him to somewhere else. We packed the car, gave lots of hugs and kisses and headed out a little after 9pm.
I had decided that we had plenty of time, so we went by Whole Foods to pick up my labor snacks - fruit gummies and energy honey combs. At this point, I'm starting to feel the contractions, but they're only mildly uncomfortable. Still thinking we had plenty of time, we head to the Target close to the hospital. Once inside Target, each contraction slowed my walking a little. I could tell they were getting more intense, but still not painful. We selected a baby book and then I wanted to grab a "going home" outfit. That was still on my to-do list, and I figured I might need a preemie outfit since he was going to be an early baby - which turned out to be right! When we checked out of Target, our receipt read "10:10pm".
Because I hadn't eaten since lunch, I asked that we stop at the IHOP by Target to get some eggs and toast. Michael thought I was crazy, but obliged. There was going to be a 15 minutes wait, so we sat down. A large group of 15 ladies walked in behind us and filled the waiting area. All of a sudden, I felt a waterfall start in my pants. OH SHIT. I ran to the bathroom. It wouldn't stop. Now what? I get to walk out in front of everyone looking like I can't stop pissing my pants! Since I was obviously pregnant, I hoped that everyone would see the real event that was going on instead. I later found out that I left a puddle on the seat next to Michael, and that one of the ladies in the group that came in after us made big eye contact with him - so he had to be the embarrassed one and clean up after me! I came tearing out of the bathroom saying, "We have to GO. My water just REALLY broke!"
We run out to the parking lot and I rip my pants off and jump in the car. I had planned ahead with covering my seat with towels, thankfully. Michael goes to pull out of the parking lot to head to the hospital and I stop him. WTF?! "Pull over there, we can't go to the hospital yet!" Again, WTF?! For some reason, I couldn't wrap my head around everything that was going on. I asked Michael to grab a fresh pair of underwear and pants for me; to which he replied, "Why? They're just going to get wet too!" Let me explain something... A woman in labor can be a very unreasonable human being. She wants what she wants, and she wants it NOW. So, I sat there staring at the clean, dry underwear and pants Michael had just handed me, and I tried to think and be reasonable. Finally, I handed them back to him and said, "You're right. Let's go to the hospital." I tried to call Assessment to let them know I was coming, and they directed me to call the after hours nurse line. WTF. I'm having a baby, I was just letting you know that I'm on my way as a courtesy. So, I do as I'm told and call the after hours line for my doctor. They tell me to go to Assessment. Figures.
So, we pull up to Assessment at the hospital, and I am overcome with emotion. I am in denial that we are having a baby tonight, and I start crying as we walk up to the doors. Michael asks me if I'm alright, and I start sobbing about how I can't have a baby tonight because I have to go to work on Monday to train my temp. Again, WTF. He assures me that we are having a baby tonight, so going to work Monday is doubtful. LOL
I get inside and tell the receptionist that my water broke, and they quickly get me one of those stylish blue cloths to sit on while I wait to be checked in by the nurse. Once I'm called back to the little side room, they ask Michael to wait in the waiting area for a few minutes. I go through all of the fun questioning and they ask if I have a safe place to go after the baby is born. Well yes, but then I realized that was the reason Michael was asked to wait outside. Wow...kind of scary to think that there are some women out there who could/would answer no to that question with their abusive significant other waiting on the other side of the wall. I smile and say, "Yes, I do." Michael and I are then transferred to the back where I slip into my cutesy hospital gown that I brought (because I'm vain, obviously). The nurse comes in and goes over my birth plan details with me - pretty much no problems with any of my requests, which was nice. Michael was then asked to go pay our estimated balance before we went upstairs - hospital gotta get the money! At this point, it's a little after 11pm and I am 4cm dilated - thinking it might be a long night. Ethan arrived about 2 - 2 1/2 hours after they broke my water, but I also had a pitocin drip to speed things along. So, I had no idea what to expect with a natural birth...
Sunday, March 9th - ish
Michael gets back and they roll us upstairs to Labor & Delivery (a little before midnight). We get in and settled - which means they ask a lot of the same questions Assessment did and then put in my hep lock (in case of emergency, and I need IV fluids, meds, etc.). While they're taking care of that, Michael contacts Hannah and Joylynn again. My contractions are 3-6 minutes apart, and I'm still about 4cm dilated. Hannah starts heading to the hospital, and Joylynn decides to wait a little longer since I can still talk through the contractions. Since I'm not tied to any machines, I'm free to roam. Michael starts walking laps with me around the nurses station. We make a total of three laps - each progressively harder to get through - before heading back to the room. Hannah arrives just as Michael is getting me back to the bed. The staff calls Dr. Perniciaro (my doc) - not sure if this was the first or second call. At this point it's 12:40am and I'm on all fours in the bed in pain. I'm thinking this was about the point where I asked for an epidural with Ethan, and I'm starting to question if I'm going to be able to make it all the way. Hannah starts to coach me...breathe into the pain, let it go. I'm not sure what kind of noises I was making, but they sure did help. Michael texts Joylynn that it might be soon; and I ask to get in the tub to try to relax a little and help with the increasing pain. While they're running the water, the nurse checks me and says that I am at 6cm now. Before I get in the tub, she wants to do a quick fetal check - which did not feel quick AT ALL. I was hurting and she was trying to get Liam's heartbeat with the sensors that are usually connected to the mother (but I had requested they not be). After what felt like forever, she got enough information to tell he was still doing well. I stripped down to my sports bra and eased into the water. I immediately felt better. The time is now 1am. Hannah asked if I wanted the birthing ball to lean on, which I did. That was probably the most comfortable and awkward part. The ball was way too big to be in the tub, but leaning across it helped me feel better. All of a sudden, I have two back-to-back contractions and I literally feel him drop into the birth canal. Oh shit. "I'm think I'm about to push! I feel like I need to push!" The nurse checks me, and I'm at 8cm and his head is right there - nothing left but to dilate just a little more and push him right out. She tells me that I will have to get out of the tub as soon as she gets back. She alerts the rest of the staff, and they start to rush in. Now, it's too late. I feel him coming. I can't help it or stop it. I push. The nurse comes running back, checks me and tells the others to call it - he's here. I hear clicking camera sounds - Joylynn made it. One more push and they help him out. He's in my arms.
Liam Edward Hathcox was born at 1:10am. He weighed 6lbs 14oz, and was 20.5" long. Liam's birth could not have been more perfect and beautiful. It was everything I could have ever imagined, and more. I did not plan to have a water birth, but wouldn't trade it for the world now. I am so thankful for Michael and Hannah, and my very supportive nurse (who's name I wish I could remember). I wish every woman could have the same experience I did - to labor and birth as she wants in a safe and loving environment. Sometimes things are out of our control and we just have to let God take over. I feel so very blessed and fortunate for my story. Below is a link to the slide show that Joylynn prepared for us. I cannot explain the pure, raw emotion that courses through you when your child comes into this world. Maybe this video can do what words cannot...
Liam Edward's Birth Story by CherBebe
password: 032014
check your speaker volume - music playing
(G rated, maybe PG depending on who you are) ;)
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