My dearest, sweetest little boy...
There is so much I want to tell you every single day. And, I do - even though you may not remember it now. If there is only one thing I could teach you, it would be to love with all of your heart. Love is the basis of all good things in life. Without love, you are nothing. The ability to show compassion and empathy for others is something this world is losing. I want you to love yourself as a person, and I want you to value yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do not let someone else place a value on you - YOU determine your worth. And, you are priceless.
Your smile illuminates your entire being, and it fills my heart beyond measure. Your eyes shine with so much joy, and I never want you to lose that. Happiness is something that money cannot buy. You must first be happy with yourself. Sure, money can buy things, but they do not make you who you are. There will be times when someone around you may make you feel inferior because of what they have that you do not. You are going to go through so many emotions as you grow up, but do not let them blind you to the bigger picture. You are so very loved. No matter what you own or have in possessions.
Daddy and I will always be here for you, and we will always love you more than life itself. We spend so many days and nights being in complete awe of your beautiful little spirit. We talk about how much we prayed for you, and how blessed we are that God entrusted you to us. Love plays such a huge role in our lives and how we want to raise you. We want to be honest with you, and show you who we are as people and as your parents. I fell madly and deeply in love with your Daddy, and he with me. Honestly, we are still madly in love, just like we were as two crazy kids dating. No matter how embarrassing it might be to you, we will always show you that we love each other. I will hold your Daddy's hand, give him hugs and kisses, and snuggle up to him on the couch. I want you to know what love feels like and looks like. One day, you will find the person who makes your heart smile and your soul sing. Treasure them. Treat them with respect. LOVE them, and show them that love. Be considerate when you argue, and do not hit below the belt. And, if you do, be genuine when you apologize. We all makes mistakes, my son. It is how you handle those mistakes that show your integrity and humility. If you ever hear or see Daddy and me arguing (although, I pray you never do), I want you to also see respect for each other. Respect is just as important to any relationship as love.
I love you, Ethan - whether I am here on Earth or somewhere in the great beyond. Always.
Mommy
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thursday, December 6, 2012
"I can do it myself!"
That is exactly what we're dealing with right now. It is super cute and super sad. I enjoy doing everything for Ethan, and now he's interested in doing so much on his own. His thing right now is feeding himself. Quite literally, he would not eat anything last night unless he had a spoon in each hand. And, while we were giving him bites, he was steadily trying to do it himself at the same time. So, we'd give him a bite and then he'd try to feed himself, over and over again.
He also likes to pick out his books every night. If you try to pick one up to read to him, he fusses you. So, we put it back down and let him grab the one he wants us to read. Then, he wants to be the one to turn the pages. :) His favorite book right now is "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What do you hear?" I think we could read that five times a night and he still would not get tired of it.
I absolutely love being a mommy. There is nothing sweeter in this world. And, to be honest, I do not expect non-parents to understand. There have been those who've made comments in regards to their capacity to love not being determined by whether or not they have a child. They are absolutely right. There are areas of the heart that they will never understand until they have a child - it is just different.
To quote another mommy friend of mine..."I don't think it 'determine's' how much you can love. The love for a child is just different. To love something that you carried and grew inside you for 9 months is different than any kind of feeling imagine able until you have been there. Loving something that is part of you, literally, is a different kind if love."
I put this out there because I remember the person I was before Ethan. Part of me could see how a mom's life could be happily consumed with their child, and the other part of me wondered how they couldn't resent losing their freedom and "themselves" a little. Now, I understand. There is not much more of an explanation for it.
He also likes to pick out his books every night. If you try to pick one up to read to him, he fusses you. So, we put it back down and let him grab the one he wants us to read. Then, he wants to be the one to turn the pages. :) His favorite book right now is "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What do you hear?" I think we could read that five times a night and he still would not get tired of it.
I absolutely love being a mommy. There is nothing sweeter in this world. And, to be honest, I do not expect non-parents to understand. There have been those who've made comments in regards to their capacity to love not being determined by whether or not they have a child. They are absolutely right. There are areas of the heart that they will never understand until they have a child - it is just different.
To quote another mommy friend of mine..."I don't think it 'determine's' how much you can love. The love for a child is just different. To love something that you carried and grew inside you for 9 months is different than any kind of feeling imagine able until you have been there. Loving something that is part of you, literally, is a different kind if love."
I put this out there because I remember the person I was before Ethan. Part of me could see how a mom's life could be happily consumed with their child, and the other part of me wondered how they couldn't resent losing their freedom and "themselves" a little. Now, I understand. There is not much more of an explanation for it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Letters to Ethan
My sweet baby boy,
I guess I can't really say that anymore since you are very much a toddler now. But, truly, you will always be my baby.
Today is the first of two very difficult days... Your Great-MawMaw Sue passed away on Sunday afternoon. Tonight and tomorrow, we will be celebrating her life. This is the first time in quite a while that your Daddy and I have had to deal with losing someone as close to us and loved as much as we loved your Great-MawMaw Sue. She was very sick. She had been taken over by a terrible disease - Alzheimer's. But, I want you to know something. She loved you dearly. She would always light up when she saw you.
One day around Christmas of last year, we were visiting with her. You were around 5 months old. Her mind had been slipping away from us for some time. She had already forgotten who I was, and only remembered your Daddy occasionally, if ever. But, she always wanted to hold you, regardless of who she remembered that day. We placed you in her arms, and she held onto you so tightly. She was smiling down at you, as she always did. Then, her eyes lit up and she said, "I know who you are!" Your Daddy and I agreed that there was no better Christmas gift than that moment. We will hold onto it forever.
I guess I can't really say that anymore since you are very much a toddler now. But, truly, you will always be my baby.
Today is the first of two very difficult days... Your Great-MawMaw Sue passed away on Sunday afternoon. Tonight and tomorrow, we will be celebrating her life. This is the first time in quite a while that your Daddy and I have had to deal with losing someone as close to us and loved as much as we loved your Great-MawMaw Sue. She was very sick. She had been taken over by a terrible disease - Alzheimer's. But, I want you to know something. She loved you dearly. She would always light up when she saw you.
One day around Christmas of last year, we were visiting with her. You were around 5 months old. Her mind had been slipping away from us for some time. She had already forgotten who I was, and only remembered your Daddy occasionally, if ever. But, she always wanted to hold you, regardless of who she remembered that day. We placed you in her arms, and she held onto you so tightly. She was smiling down at you, as she always did. Then, her eyes lit up and she said, "I know who you are!" Your Daddy and I agreed that there was no better Christmas gift than that moment. We will hold onto it forever.
I want you to know that you have another guardian angel now. MawMaw Sue loved angels. We have no doubt that she is flying high with them today. She is watching down on you and loving you so very much. She has joined your Great-Granny Hilda, and they will always be with you.
Loving you more every day,
Mommy
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
My (almost) little toddler
April 30th?! That is the last time I made a post here. That makes me sad. So much has happened since then. Ethan is growing like a weed. He will be walking very soon - his balance is awesome, but he hasn't figured out he could step forward on his own.
*sigh* I wish I could keep him little.
Ethan has definitely started showing favor to men. I think this is partly because of my dad keeping him during the weekdays. And, Michael plays with him as much as possible every.single.day. It is super sweet! He clings to me for comfort, which I love. And, he will still snuggle with me for weekend afternoon naps. I hope those don't go away any time soon! :)
I am going to try to keep this blog updated more. I currently have three blogs, so I pretty much just blog when I have a random inspiration for one. Truly, I should be inspired to write more on this one. I tend to update my Melaleuca one more, and now my weight loss one. Maybe I avoid this one because it reminds me of how fast my little nugget is growing. :(
I need to update Ethan's baby book. When I do that, I think I'll post some highlights here. :) That is on my To-Do list for this weekend!
*sigh* I wish I could keep him little.
Ethan has definitely started showing favor to men. I think this is partly because of my dad keeping him during the weekdays. And, Michael plays with him as much as possible every.single.day. It is super sweet! He clings to me for comfort, which I love. And, he will still snuggle with me for weekend afternoon naps. I hope those don't go away any time soon! :)
I am going to try to keep this blog updated more. I currently have three blogs, so I pretty much just blog when I have a random inspiration for one. Truly, I should be inspired to write more on this one. I tend to update my Melaleuca one more, and now my weight loss one. Maybe I avoid this one because it reminds me of how fast my little nugget is growing. :(
I need to update Ethan's baby book. When I do that, I think I'll post some highlights here. :) That is on my To-Do list for this weekend!
Monday, April 30, 2012
2 steps forward
Literally.
Ethan took two steps on his own between his TeeMaw and Aunt Cara. I was thisclose to bursting into tears. Part of me hopes it was a fluke, another part hopes that it was not. How could this happen? My baby, who has no interest in crawling, is trying to walk. He'll be 9 months tomorrow, and my heart is breaking.
Michael and I were talking about the different phases that kids go through. I am currently hanging on to the "baby phase". I told him that he better not try to rush Ethan out of this phase because it is so short for me. I find myself rocking him "just a few more minutes" at night where we were putting him down right after saying his prayers. He will be a year old in just three short months. I wish I could pause time. But, that is what those few extra minutes in the rocking chair each night feel like - like I am pausing time. Even though brief, it is like the world stops for me and my baby.
Ethan took two steps on his own between his TeeMaw and Aunt Cara. I was thisclose to bursting into tears. Part of me hopes it was a fluke, another part hopes that it was not. How could this happen? My baby, who has no interest in crawling, is trying to walk. He'll be 9 months tomorrow, and my heart is breaking.
Michael and I were talking about the different phases that kids go through. I am currently hanging on to the "baby phase". I told him that he better not try to rush Ethan out of this phase because it is so short for me. I find myself rocking him "just a few more minutes" at night where we were putting him down right after saying his prayers. He will be a year old in just three short months. I wish I could pause time. But, that is what those few extra minutes in the rocking chair each night feel like - like I am pausing time. Even though brief, it is like the world stops for me and my baby.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
What's Ethan up to?
Ever felt the need to cut a bitch? Yeah, me neither. /sarcasm
I just want to say that I am thankful that no matter what happens during my day, I can take a deep breath and smile knowing that I get to squeeze my little nugget when I get home.
Ethan has not REAL interest in crawling or pulling up to stand. He loves his walker, and loves to walk if you hold his hands. I'm trying not to be all crazy-mom-concerned. He may not crawl, and I'd just have to get over it. He's perfectly strong enough, just not interested I guess... Most moms are telling me to be grateful that he's not fully mobile on his own yet. But, I do like realizing his milestones with him.
In the food department, he's a regular "solid" eater now. We introduced yogurt last night, and he loved it! I think it felt good on his gums. He cut his second tooth yesterday. *tear* I've started making his food more on the chunky side, so we've moved to the next level of consistency. My baby is growing so fast. :)
On a side note, I had gummy worms for lunch. What of it?
I just want to say that I am thankful that no matter what happens during my day, I can take a deep breath and smile knowing that I get to squeeze my little nugget when I get home.
Ethan has not REAL interest in crawling or pulling up to stand. He loves his walker, and loves to walk if you hold his hands. I'm trying not to be all crazy-mom-concerned. He may not crawl, and I'd just have to get over it. He's perfectly strong enough, just not interested I guess... Most moms are telling me to be grateful that he's not fully mobile on his own yet. But, I do like realizing his milestones with him.
In the food department, he's a regular "solid" eater now. We introduced yogurt last night, and he loved it! I think it felt good on his gums. He cut his second tooth yesterday. *tear* I've started making his food more on the chunky side, so we've moved to the next level of consistency. My baby is growing so fast. :)
On a side note, I had gummy worms for lunch. What of it?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hello Month 8
How the hell have we gotten through 8 months of caring for an infant? Sometimes I wonder.
It's weird. Very weird when I sit down and think about it. Life is different, like *BOOM!* different. There is not an action or a thought that I go through that doesn't involve my little nugget. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So, we've had a breakthrough in our battle with D.R. Horton regarding the leak in the front bedroom closet that has slowly been getting worse and worse. We had conceded to the fact that we were probably going to have to make a claim on our homeowners' insurance policy - which we were NOT happy about. Before we took that step, we decided to sit down with one of my mom's best friends who is also a realtor. We wanted to get some advice on what we needed to change with the house over the course of the next few months to prep it to go on the market. While filtering through our original paperwork, she pulled out our Preoccupancy Checklist, which CLEARLY stated that there was a leak in the front bedroom to be fixed prior to closing. What they did was patch it so that it LOOKED like it had been fixed. Not even our inspector caught it. It's been a 5 year long battle out of the 6 years we have been in the house. Since we have produced that evidence (that they also have a copy of, but conveniently are unable to find), they are agreeing to come in and fix it. Although, Michael is possibly going to have to argue with them again regarding them not wanting to repaint the entire entryway's stucco. Aww, hell no! We are not going to be saddled with mismatched shit. We might be LP, but we ain't trashy!
I'm just excited to finally be looking at getting out of that hellhole of a neighborhood. I will miss my custom paintjobs in the house, though. Damn. Can't win 'em all.
It's weird. Very weird when I sit down and think about it. Life is different, like *BOOM!* different. There is not an action or a thought that I go through that doesn't involve my little nugget. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So, we've had a breakthrough in our battle with D.R. Horton regarding the leak in the front bedroom closet that has slowly been getting worse and worse. We had conceded to the fact that we were probably going to have to make a claim on our homeowners' insurance policy - which we were NOT happy about. Before we took that step, we decided to sit down with one of my mom's best friends who is also a realtor. We wanted to get some advice on what we needed to change with the house over the course of the next few months to prep it to go on the market. While filtering through our original paperwork, she pulled out our Preoccupancy Checklist, which CLEARLY stated that there was a leak in the front bedroom to be fixed prior to closing. What they did was patch it so that it LOOKED like it had been fixed. Not even our inspector caught it. It's been a 5 year long battle out of the 6 years we have been in the house. Since we have produced that evidence (that they also have a copy of, but conveniently are unable to find), they are agreeing to come in and fix it. Although, Michael is possibly going to have to argue with them again regarding them not wanting to repaint the entire entryway's stucco. Aww, hell no! We are not going to be saddled with mismatched shit. We might be LP, but we ain't trashy!
I'm just excited to finally be looking at getting out of that hellhole of a neighborhood. I will miss my custom paintjobs in the house, though. Damn. Can't win 'em all.
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